Writings & Ramblings

A Reproduction Of Every Modern "Country"/"Folk"/"Revival" Album Review

(June 27, 2025)

"_______ is the best worst album ever, its darkness shines through its lightness and brings hope to my sad soul in the most hillbilly way ever. God I wish this album was even shorter and easier to digest so I could mindlessly consume it at a faster pace. Some songs sound so happy but the lyrics aren't?!?! I have never heard of such a thing. One was even slow but the lyrics were uplifting! What a spectacle for my brainrotted skull to indulge! I love when he sings about horses being good and lovers being bad! Sometimes those roles get reversed and it blows my weak mind sky high! StEeL gUiTaR OmG iTs So GoOd!!!! It tells me exactly when I'm supposed to feel sad or happy and my goop sac of a brain appreciates its handholding so much! If it wasn't there I just don't know what I'd feel! I love all these meaningless lyrics from artsy kids who want to sound down to earth! Also, have you guys heard this one guy who started as a good artist but due to pressure and the minor scent of success completely lost all guts and  now sounds like all the others?! He's so good now!"

P.S.  If I see another headline like  "______ REVEALS THE ONE SONG THEY WISH THEY HAD NEVER WRITTEN,"

I'm gonna....... cuddle my dog & uhhhhh take nap or something.

(March 15, 2025)

I hold the guitar like a fisherman holds his net. Like a soldier in a trench holds his gun. Like an old psychopath wears a straight jacket. Like a rock holding on to the earth. 

A Word On R.L.'s Blues

(February 11, 2025)

Previous albums have grown far differently than this’n’. They’ve felt almost as though they, themselves, were guides to me. The idea would come, and I would be thrown into its world, learning along the way while my hand was held by a powerful shade. But I hope to make clear, this time was different. As I rose one morning, crawsick from heavy usage of vodka the night before, I picked up my trusty & true steel-string, composed the title track, and immediately knew the name & direction. With an expelling of vomit & a crisp glass of crick water, I felt anew. The title did not sit upon my shoulder as it always would; it was as if it was a stray dog following its newly chosen human. Typically such a change in thinking would have shocked me to my core, but with the miserable state I was already in, I welcomed this spectral follower. I continued my days like normal, going to work to fudgel away, fabricating the evening meals over the embers of campfire, & borrowing bottles that I never intended to return or to pay back. All the while, the idea watched. Songs began to flow from my tattered fingers differently than they had before & I began to feel an inner fire for interpreting a few old tunes. FAR quicker than ever, I had a complete framework for the project. It, like a log cabin deep within a cedar forest, grew upon its foundation, with myself firmly in control of the blueprints. While my mental rock pile continued to grow, “R.L.’s Blues” continued to get better & better. That’s what mattered. I suppose all of my albums are “journal entries” really, but this is the most truly introspective of the bunch (thus far…) 

(December 22, 2024)

oingo boingo my tum-tum be going crazy fam im a real life bart-man fighting crime and baking ham they call me christopher cringle the way i be sliding down chimneys into peoples houses i be a menace bruh straight throttle no brakes into middle class homes to steal valuables they call me the king of the krabs and by they i mean all of em fool i got more bars than the county jail sometimes i leave bread on the counter and it gets stale i ingest large amounts of kale i read brail i hammer nails send emails ive never been to prison but i know i could handle it they call me the keyboard the way i have a lot of keys my local mailman is plotting against me im constantly irritated by minor inconveniences and express my anger in inappropriate ways they call me the donkey the way i be eating carrots apples and waffles my left hip hurts when it rains and my eyes are developing astigmatisms i be slipping down icy paths but only occasionally falling entirely they be calling me the cup of yogurt the way i go good with berries granola and differing types of seeds and im also a good breakfast my mom and dad got divorced a number of years ago i love snails but only little ones they be calling me a cup of tea the way i always got a bag on me they be calling me a priest the way im right with the lord they be calling me but going staright to voicemail because i get nervous on phone calls i did poorly in school but just cause i didnt try oingo boingo they call me the chainsaw they way i cut down trees skillfully sometimes i have a tendency to drink too much but im not to the point of a 12 step program because thats for losers and people who actually have a problem they be calling me the psych ward the way i invite mentally ill people into my life im often helping people close to me to sell things they dont need anymore i currently have a car for sale for cheap so hit me up they call me file explorer the way i keep good records of my yearly tax forms have you ever been skydiving because i havent but im curious im a menace on the boards the ironing boards that is i always be making sure my clothes arent wrinkled they been calling me over and over they be harrasing me frankly i be considering restraining orders on a few people but apparently i dont have enough reason for one they be calling me an amphibian the way i do well on land and in water im struggling to find work lately i have 2 burns of the 3rd degree i havent seen my pet bird in a week they call me the i.t. guy the way i can try unplugging something and plugging it back in my greatest fear is bears but i never see them so i dont gotta worry about it surreal cereal for real someone get me on meds im worried for my mental health they call me bigfoot the way the only pictures people get of me are really blurry the loch ness monster probably cant swim as well as me i be straight burning laps at my local ymca pool and always making sure to shower before and after entering the water sinkholes have less depth than me i enjoy watching sad movies and holdingbacktearsmaxxing i be consuming bricks and mortar in order to build my immune system drivin a '89 cutlass supreme ordering footlongs for the homeless from subway they call me the beekeeper the way i wear a beesuit everywhere i go drinking bottles of beer with small shards of glass so i stay sharp inside and out smoking noobs on the dragstrip in the cutty keeping my skin clear with acne treatments you know me crafting wooden boxes out of quality cedar they call me the mechanic the way i fix issues with automobiles and charge money for my services i got kids in 5 states none of them born yet my federal agents call me up asking for advice i be enjoying a good walk sometimes i be enjoying a cup of coffee every morning approximately 16 minutes after i wake up and you know i always brush my teeth after they call me the dentist the way i maintain my oral health and hygiene my childhood dog ran away in the mountains and was never seen again which made my mom really upset they be calling me the calculator the way i can add like any number up if you give me a second im always looking for farm fresh eggs vegetables fruit and meat i be eating organic but sneaking an occasional cocacola cause i deserve it oingo boingo i be metal detecting everywhere i go even in places of business and on sidewalks i be watching the news every other week to stay informed on topics that may or may not be important the antique dealers in my area know me by name and have my number in case they find vintage train sets or brass buckets they call me the clock cause i tick constantly they call me the red robin rager because of that incident last march i began a campaign to be coroner of my county i didnt win but ill try next election cycle they call me the human weather vane the way i get struck by lightning once a year im allergic to cats and kiwi oingo boingo

An Exploration Of Diesel Diane & Ramblin' Ray Roy

"THE EMPTY AIR ESCAPE"

(October 25, 2024)

Diesel Diane & Ramblin' Ray Roy find themselves trapped inside a house of empty air, lost light & and whispering apparitions. The turn they had made 6 miles back had been mistaken as a left but meant as a right, & the house they thought was theirs was nothing more than an opaque physical vision. They had stepped inside a AOUSE, an alternative path created by the universe's curiosity. Ray Roy's first steps inside the door immediately  sent staples down his boney spine. He & Diane threw their heads in each others direction & screamed, the extreme tension of empty air grasping the pits of their stomachs. Once they had ran out of breathe they held each other in silence, scanned the surroundings, & realized they were alone. The place looked very similar to theirs, but unlike usual, there was no dust. No dust, no dirty dishes, no off level pictures frames... It was as if it had never seen life. An extremely thin mist filled the air space nearest the ceiling. Diane spoke the first words... "We gotta get out of here." They attempted the door, not a budge. Shaking, clammering, & stiff, they decided to explore, seeing no other options. Ray Roy led the way, taking them into the main room. There they saw a gate. 2 feet tall, golden barbed wire wrapped all around, seemingly leading to nowhere. It appeared to them to have an extremely small hole where a key should go, but it did not read as a key hole. They pondered, still trembling with lack of knowledge of the situation, and decided there must be something to fit the hole, but it was so small? Diane's mind went to her sewing equipment, "A needle could be perfect!" Ray Roy's went to his instrumental interest, "The end of a string could be perfect!"

They split to their respective hobbyist rooms, scrounging through boxes full of whispers & half memories, both finding what they set out for(eventually.) At that moment they then turned to run back to the gate, but they were seemingly LOCKED into their positions. The whispers began to seap out of their boxes & materialize into small beings in front of each of them respectively. The entities spoke in one voice and said nothing but "What in your mind made you choose that?" The explorers thought & at the same time said "My inclinations."  At that breathe, Diesel D & Ramblin' R were thrown into the area of the gate, crashing into each other in the middle. In their hands were now small pieces of paper that said simply "I understand yours." Without instruction, they pushed the papers together & were shot like a pea through a peach ring into the hole in the gate. They awoke in their bed, in their reality, with a better understanding.

Today

(September 28, 2024)

Today I smelled something,

and it smelled just like you.

Today I dreamed something,

and it dreamed just like you.

Today I wrote something,

and it wrote a bit like you.

Today I heard something,

and I could have sworn I heard you.

Today I thought of something...

actually today,

all I thought of was you.

(September 27, 2024)

I cut my wrists a lot, but only crick water ever runs out.

Familiarity of Guitar

(December 23, 2023)

There’s a familiarity in solo guitar. Partial feelings of anemoia, defined as “Nostalgia for a time or a place one has never known.” But to me it goes father and differentiates itself, creating a different effect. Almost like you can hear lyrics that aren’t there, or in the majority of cases, lyrics that don’t even exist. This probably has a proper term, but I’m not privy to it. I believe it stems from the fact that the acoustic guitar has been so engrained into our brains to be played and sang along with, that the brain is trying to compensate for the lack of vocalization. This creates a wild effect. The brain being in a way thrown off and out of one normal cycle while also being stimulated by a familiarity. It’s what makes John Fahey especially fantastic. He “covers” many old songs that are traditionally accompanied by very well known lyrics and this gets a listener to begin hearing it in all of his songs. The Acoustic guitar, and it’s many many forms, can truly sing in more ways than one.  

A Feeling

(November 10, 2023)

A particularly good feeling

washes over me

as I steer my 1980 Chevy LUV along the

winding back road.

Guitar in case

in the passengers seat.

Patton & Lee sing

"Troubled 'Bout My Mother"

and I contemplate

if I even could be

at this point.

A brisk but sunny

November afternoon.

Visited my grandmother

went to work for a little while.

A particularly good feeling

that I am creating

just by noticing.

Then Patton begins to

see a river

rolling like a log

and I

much like the log

roll along.

(April 3, 2023)

The acoustic guitar is the sketchpad of music. It can be used in the beginning stages of a song all the way to the final product. Its anything you would like it to be. Its waiting for you to make it yours and for you to fully accept it.